Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
