Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
