I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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