I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This house was built for laser tag.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize