So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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