We won't sleep together?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
