i just had sex bonerless
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
