I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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