i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize