The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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