Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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