is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
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Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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