i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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