I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
