He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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