Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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