I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
honey bunches of taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize