Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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