he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
