I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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