It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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