Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
