never play flip cup with pint glasses
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
