you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
no more duck duck goose at the bar
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
