There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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