I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
