You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
