Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
