Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
