Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
