now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
