We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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