my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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