Are we in a gay sports bar?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
