My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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