You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
