Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
