suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize