You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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