my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize