there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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