yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
