True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
