Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
