**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
