they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
