for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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