I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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