come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
