There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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