He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize