How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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