Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
