Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
