I hate all girls vehemently.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well I just put wine in my tea
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
