I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
