Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
