Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
is wine microwaveable?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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