never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
