I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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