I'm jealous of your bromance
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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