You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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