Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
