dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
