i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
