mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
