i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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