Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
