Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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