The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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