I wish I could punch you in the face.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
