come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
